Remember Wednesday, April 7, 2010? Of course you do. That was the day I discovered that I had a previously undiagnosed super power. I am a Precog. Hmmm...that's an industry term so let me break it down to a working class level so I can be sure that you understand and are willing to pay for my non-sexual services: I CAN SEE THE FUTURE.
It's a gift and a curse, as I can barely keep track of the wonderful ideas I have in the present let alone all the no longer mysterious miracles I'll be squirting out in 2031. Now I know how you are so let me stop you right there...NO I'm not going to tell you about our robot overlords or the awesome remake of Spaceballs or how Courtney Love finally gets her shit together and gets to be the Vice President (and then the President after RoboCosby is assassinated). I will however explain to you how it is I figured out that I have powers of precognition and yet am not a blind person*.
PICTURE IT: Beverly, Massachusetts. Wednesday April 7, 2010. 7:14 P.M. I'm updating Beach Bitch Bimbo regarding my recent purchase of a memo pad. What did I write on page one of my memo pad? "CALLING IT: Magma is probably going to be killed off. Nightcrawler too. That's the trick."
WELL WELL WELL. Nightcrawler is dead. I was right. I can see the future. Don't worry about Magma, I used my powers to save her...for now.
I am now accepting large sums of money to tell you trivial things about tomorrow/forever.
*+35 points for Destiny/Blindfold double reference
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