I'm writing to you from beyond the grave. As you know, I used to be alive. That changed when I heard a song called "Accidental Racist" by Brad Paisley (ft. LL Cool J). It is the worst thing that has ever happened to music and it LITERALLY MURDERED ME. I'm communicating to you now just like Ghost Writer but the difference is that the only mystery I'm trying to solve is WHO ALLOWED THIS SONG TO HAPPEN??? God is dead. Music is over.
Okay. Well. Okay. Where to start? So a couple of days ago I saw some article on Buzzfeed about Brad Paisley and LL Cool J ending racism but I didn't bother reading it because COME ON. I don't even know who Brad Paisley is.
Then this morning my friend Katie texted me and told me to listen to it. I headed over to youtube and watched it. Now all music is ruined forever. I'm not going to offer a link because I don't want you all to die but here's a conversation I had about it with my roommate/international pop superstar Amy Greenhouse:
me: ALSO OH MY GOD ACCIDENTAL RACIST FBKLBNFDZKLHNFK
Okay. Well. Okay. Where to start? So a couple of days ago I saw some article on Buzzfeed about Brad Paisley and LL Cool J ending racism but I didn't bother reading it because COME ON. I don't even know who Brad Paisley is.
Then this morning my friend Katie texted me and told me to listen to it. I headed over to youtube and watched it. Now all music is ruined forever. I'm not going to offer a link because I don't want you all to die but here's a conversation I had about it with my roommate/international pop superstar Amy Greenhouse:
me: ALSO OH MY GOD ACCIDENTAL RACIST FBKLBNFDZKLHNFK
have you heard it?
Amy: omg
omg omg
i was just about to talk to you about it
me: Katie sent me a text about it and my brain exploded. this is my ghost talking to you
Amy: i haven't had the chance to read more than the first two paragraphs
hahaha
katie told me to look it up
richie. it's the worst thing that's ever
don't judge my gold chains and i'll forget the iron chains
me: no, i know. it officially ruined all music forever. i'd throw my iphone in the trash if it wasn't also my phone
Amy: hahahahaha
omg it's so the worst
i just
i just can't
i can't even
i don't know where to begin!
me: the part that's like.."If you don't judge my do-rag/I won't judge your red flag" killed me. it LITERALLY murdered me.
THOSE THINGS ARE NOT THE SAME!!!!!!!!!!
Amy: I KNOW!
i't's
i just
i can't.
i can't!
Sent at 12:20 PM on Tuesday
Amy: i mean seriously
like....really ll? what the fuck! also brad paisley, stfu!
me: i can't
nothing means anything anymore
RIP Robert E. Lee
