Joan Cusack Books on Tape

I'm sure everyone must just intuitively know that my favorite sound in the world is Joan Cusack's voice. Now that I'm famous and influential as a super hero/executive producer/Hollywood film actor/television personality/saint/yogurt whistle blower/etc. I have FINALLY convinced Joan to go into the wonderful world of books on tape. The thing is...now that she's agreed, I'm COMPLETELY OVERWHELMED! She's committed to doing six books of my choosing but I'm finding it close to impossible to narrow it down! The only book I've completely settled on is (obviously) Incriminating Evidence by Lydia Lunch. Let's take a look at some other ideas...

Oh, and for the record I'm not asking for yr advice on the matter. The decision is MINE and MINE ALONE. I'm so excited!

ALSO AVAILABLE (not yet, but soon): Joan Cusack Books on Tape CASSINGLES!!!!!!! Because we all know that sometimes all ya need is a chapter. The flip side is Joan reading the same chapter, but with an accent like she's from the deep south!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Look who's supporting me now!

That's right people, I'm teaming up with the Stepford Cuckoos in a very special limited series. And to answer what I know is on everyone's mind: No, I won't be dying my hair blonde. Here's proof for all you non-believers:

I'm Pregnant.

Mayyyyybe "pregnant" isn't the best way to describe it. I think "expecting" is a smidgen more appropriate because I'm EXPECTING a new synthetic baby to arrive in the mail at any moment. Her name is Sarah Whitney-Mulcahy and I artificially love her and her hyphenated last name so much that I'm angry about it. Oh look, here she is now:
I'm not sure how well you can read that little paragraph next to her, but yes she is modeled after the artist that made her. She is also premature so be careful around her if you have an imaginary disease.

Now that I've husked away my former worthless life and moved on to a higher plane of existence, I'm anticipating a lot of jealousy and gossip from all the baseline humans like yrselves, and of course I don't blame you, but please lets keep it reasonable people...I don't need DFCF (The Department of Fake Children and Families) all up in my damn business.