Monday, April 16, 2012

SPORTZ

I will buy a computer in the near future and update more frequently, however in the mean time yr just going to have to cope with only getting updates tri-monthly or so. I know it's hard, but thus is life.


I dyed my hair red so I can be more like feminist icon/American hero Jean Grey. It's part of my ongoing campaign to have Grey Day declared an official holiday. Speaking of official holidays, today is Patriots Day here in Massachusetts and although I'm honored to be among the patriots being celebrated I can't help but feel that my limelight is being stolen YET AGAIN by sports.

Have you heard of the Boston Marathon? It's some twenty-five mile run that people come from all over the world to participate in. There must be an awesome fucking prize because we're talking about RUNNING. You can basically run anywhere. Even if you live in a tiny room chained to a wall in a serial killer's basement chances are you can at least run in place. The foolishness of the human race never ceases to amaze me. The only time I'd even consider running is if I was being chased by a ghoul or if there was a buy one pack, get another free sale on cigarettes. In addition to this horrid little race, there's another, more sinister sporting event taking place. I'm talking about baseball, the worst of all the sports. Apparently the Red Sox (nice team name, by the way...really must strike fear in yr opponents) are "playing" tonight as well. Did you notice how I put "playing" in quotes? That's because 99% of that damn game is just standing around hoping balls get thrown towards you. It's like cruising but way more boring, and in my opinion also less safe.

So here I am, trying to enjoy Patriots Day. A day dedicated to HEROES (like ME) and instead I'm faced with thousands of trashbag sports people taking up space on the Green Line and asking me for directions to Kenmore. BIG MISTAKE, I directed them to Dudley Station instead. Good luck, family!