Saturday, February 26, 2011

So I got this book about demons...

That's right. It's called The Encyclopedia of Demons and Demonology and I'm not afraid to use it. GRANTED, summoning demons to do my bidding might seem like an unnecessarily risky life choice but I want you all to consider this: I wouldn't have to resort to the dark arts if human beings would just get it together and do what I say without question. Since so many people I come across make it a point to establish "boundaries" with me I've decided to abandon my dream of improving the world through human subservience and instead will be focusing on what demons can do for me.

Here's something yr thinking: "Demons are mean and nasty! WATCH OUT!" To that I say: No more mean and nasty than I am. Let's face it, I'm a natural leader. Demons may be demonic but they're not stupid. They will sense my leadership qualities and fall in line. One thing a lot of people don't know about demons is that their lust for suffering can only be matched by their need for discipline, and I will make absolutely sure to keep them on a strict schedule of knick-knack polishing, poltergeisting, and rowing my boat.

Saturday, February 5, 2011