Oh this is just delightful. Usually the twitter feuds I choose to write about are ones I'm involved in. This time, however, I stumbled across a feud involving two young pop superstars and I quit my job so I could rush home and blog about it.
So here's a little background for the over-thirty crowd: OopsPoops is the current identity of the international pop sensation formerly known as K. Spears. She got famous by wearing a dress made out of fingernails to the VMA's to promote her first album "Put Your Ding-Dong in My Puss-Puss". The album went quadruple platinum. She embarked on her "Vulva Secrets" world tour later that year but during an outrageous live performance on top of the Sphinx (which as you may remember nearly caused World War III when she carved her face into the damn thing) she underwent a transformation. While singing her #1 hit "Panties (Who Needs 'Em?)" she covered herself in feces from every country on the planet. For world peace. Unfortunately the bacteria in the shit had mutated into some kind of horrible super-virus and upon dousing herself in it she became OopsPoops, a horrifying zombie-like creature that feeds on poop. But not just any poop. What she does, and pardon me if any of this seems graphic but you know how science is, is she rips into people's stomachs/intestines in an attempt to get the freshest poops while they're still forming. 282 people died or were infected in the ensuing carnage. Usually eating crap and killing people is enough to end even the most established artist's career, but in a Madonna-like epiphany K.Spears decided that she would reinvent herself. Within two months her first album as Oopsie, "Oops, I Accidentally Tasted It", was released to commercial and critical acclaim. She's consistently put out a #1 album every six months thereafter.
Ke$ha is a bimbo who uses a dollar sign instead of an s, looks dirty all the time, and sings songs about underage drinking. There's really not too much else to say about her. Teens seem to like her, though, and she's managed to gain quite the following since her hit "Tik Tok" dropped last year. Recently at a live performance in Detroit she did a cover of Oopsie's hit "What Else Can I Fit Inside Me?". During the performance she pooped herself. The audience loved it, but when OopsPoops found out the shit hit the fan.
She took to Twitter to vent her frustrations:
OopsPoops: WAY 2 STEEL MY ACT JIGGLES. IMA KILL U!!!1!1!! UR FAT
Ke$ha responded with an attempt to apologize, saying she didn't mean to offend, she just had a big meal before her show and was actually a huge Oopsie fan. It didn't take long for things to heat up after that:
Oops Poops: WTF GRL UR GONNA GET BEAT UP IF I C U
Ke$ha: I tried to be nice but OopsPoops just sent me a rabid bat in the mail. That bitch is so over.
OopsPoops: THATS RITE I SENT U BATS AND NOW IMA SEND U MY FIST IN UR FACE
Ke$ha: Chill out, Poop Monster, its only music.
OopsPoops: NFJKGNDFKGFJKHB <---- THAT WAS MY VAGINA TYPING. IT MEANS "UR DEAD BITCH"
Ke$ha: stop threatening me, ho.
When Oopsie didn't respond Ke$ha smugly assumed that she had won the feud. She was dead wrong. When she headed out the next morning to go buy some heroin OopsPoops jumped out from behind a bush and kidnapped Ke$ha. The police kinda half-heartedly searched for Ke$ha for a couple of hours but she seemed to have simply vanished. The police did try to question OopsPoops but she kept ripping out their insides to feast on fresh feces.
Nine months later, during an unforgettable live performance at the Kids Choice Awards, Oopsie decided to premier her new single "Nasty Dreams". During the finale she bent over and squirted Ke$ha out of her body, declared that she was now a mother, and then the curtain fell.
So here's a little background for the over-thirty crowd: OopsPoops is the current identity of the international pop sensation formerly known as K. Spears. She got famous by wearing a dress made out of fingernails to the VMA's to promote her first album "Put Your Ding-Dong in My Puss-Puss". The album went quadruple platinum. She embarked on her "Vulva Secrets" world tour later that year but during an outrageous live performance on top of the Sphinx (which as you may remember nearly caused World War III when she carved her face into the damn thing) she underwent a transformation. While singing her #1 hit "Panties (Who Needs 'Em?)" she covered herself in feces from every country on the planet. For world peace. Unfortunately the bacteria in the shit had mutated into some kind of horrible super-virus and upon dousing herself in it she became OopsPoops, a horrifying zombie-like creature that feeds on poop. But not just any poop. What she does, and pardon me if any of this seems graphic but you know how science is, is she rips into people's stomachs/intestines in an attempt to get the freshest poops while they're still forming. 282 people died or were infected in the ensuing carnage. Usually eating crap and killing people is enough to end even the most established artist's career, but in a Madonna-like epiphany K.Spears decided that she would reinvent herself. Within two months her first album as Oopsie, "Oops, I Accidentally Tasted It", was released to commercial and critical acclaim. She's consistently put out a #1 album every six months thereafter.
Ke$ha is a bimbo who uses a dollar sign instead of an s, looks dirty all the time, and sings songs about underage drinking. There's really not too much else to say about her. Teens seem to like her, though, and she's managed to gain quite the following since her hit "Tik Tok" dropped last year. Recently at a live performance in Detroit she did a cover of Oopsie's hit "What Else Can I Fit Inside Me?". During the performance she pooped herself. The audience loved it, but when OopsPoops found out the shit hit the fan.
She took to Twitter to vent her frustrations:
OopsPoops: WAY 2 STEEL MY ACT JIGGLES. IMA KILL U!!!1!1!! UR FAT
Ke$ha responded with an attempt to apologize, saying she didn't mean to offend, she just had a big meal before her show and was actually a huge Oopsie fan. It didn't take long for things to heat up after that:
Oops Poops: WTF GRL UR GONNA GET BEAT UP IF I C U
Ke$ha: I tried to be nice but OopsPoops just sent me a rabid bat in the mail. That bitch is so over.
OopsPoops: THATS RITE I SENT U BATS AND NOW IMA SEND U MY FIST IN UR FACE
Ke$ha: Chill out, Poop Monster, its only music.
OopsPoops: NFJKGNDFKGFJKHB <---- THAT WAS MY VAGINA TYPING. IT MEANS "UR DEAD BITCH"
Ke$ha: stop threatening me, ho.
When Oopsie didn't respond Ke$ha smugly assumed that she had won the feud. She was dead wrong. When she headed out the next morning to go buy some heroin OopsPoops jumped out from behind a bush and kidnapped Ke$ha. The police kinda half-heartedly searched for Ke$ha for a couple of hours but she seemed to have simply vanished. The police did try to question OopsPoops but she kept ripping out their insides to feast on fresh feces.
Nine months later, during an unforgettable live performance at the Kids Choice Awards, Oopsie decided to premier her new single "Nasty Dreams". During the finale she bent over and squirted Ke$ha out of her body, declared that she was now a mother, and then the curtain fell.
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