Fancy Beast

So wait, yr pets AREN'T in a band? Really? None of them? Oh, that's just awful. I wouldn't know what that's like, though, because in case you haven't heard my kitty is the lead singer of the greatest rock and roll band of all time: FANCY BEAST.

I can't remember if I've ever gone into detail about my cat Mileena's origins. Even if I have it's worth repeating. Basically what happened was there was this angel sent from Heaven to harass gay people or protest abortions or whatever God feels like smiting that week. Unfortunately this angel got slashed across the face with a knife by me and my All-Girl Goon Squad some nameless heretics and from the blood did Mileena rise. Sensing her star potential I immediately adopted her and welcomed her into my home.

Like any troubled teen from a single-parent household, Mileena started a band with a few of her friends. Charlene the Ferret on drums, Mr.Genderswap the Goldfish on bass, Mileena on vocals, and Mileena's good-for-nothing best friend PuffPuff the Cat on guitar.

It's not easy to describe their style of music but if I had to I guess I'd call it riot grrrwl. It won't be long before they're playing all the big venues so I suggest seeing them now. They'll be playing at T.T. the Bear's this Thursday.

ALSO: Tomorrow is Mileena's birthday!