Friday, July 8, 2011

Toadette is Still Missing

I've been working tirelessly to find Toadette which should earn me a fucking medal because I'd throw a blue shell right at her if I had half a chance. BUT I'm a hero first and a hatemonger second so I'm learning to put my biases aside for the sake of saving the day.

I've been illegally detaining suspects in my secret lair in order to interrogate and intimidate any possible culprits. Since the villain's identity is obscured beyond all hope via that nefarious mask he or she is wearing the only real lead I've got to go on are the initials "P.P." written on the ransom note.

My prime suspects currently include:

Princess Peach
The Lost Skeleton of Pablo Picasso
Pete and Pete
Parker Posey
Oops PooPs
Pepper Potts
Peter Pan
the People of Providence, RI
Penny Pingleton
Peter Parker
Paul Povich (Maury Povich's son that I just made up)

It has been implied that perhaps PuffPuff was involved but Mileena has assured me that the reason she hasn't been around lately is because she's at an orientation for The New England Tractor Trailer Training School (NETTTTTTTTTTTTTTTS), so it seems highly unlikely that she'd be the culprit.

Oh, and since I'm being honest you might wanna throw "Richard Mulcahy" onto that list since my long and well-documented history of threatened and actual violence against Toadette, as well as my continued involvement in investigating her disappearance does seem to implicate me at least a little.

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