Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Volcano of Love

I'm starting a vh1 dating show and the concept is as follows:


I find about a thousand mentally ill twenty-somethings with sexxxxxxxxxxxxy bodies and bad attitudes.


Now this next part is important because it involves you: AMERICA gets to choose what twenty eight douche bags wind up as contestants through texting and online voting that costs you money. Thanks, by the way, because that money will be used to further my secular gay fascist agenda.


They all go to a house in Malibu or wherever


NO WAIT they all go to a house on top of a live volcano and compete for the love of Amy Greenhouse.


The judges will be: Tyra Banks, Daisy, Heidi Klum, Sister Patterson, New York, Rahne Sinclair, Brett Michaels, Tila Tequilla, Bubbles, Ricky Lake, Ricky Rachman, Richard Mulcahy, Tim Gunn, Nina Garcia, That scary military guy from Celebrity Fat Camp or whatever it was called, and last but not least Lydia Lunch.


At the end of each episode Lydia Lunch brutalizes whoever she wants regardless of who the judges vote out and throws them in the volcano.


And yes, this entire show exists for the sole purpose of seeing Lydia Lunch throw Brett Michaels into a volcano...oh yeah and also to find true love IN A WAY.

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