Octoba Feeva (Day 30)

Are you disappointed in me for not updating yesterday? You shouldn't be because it was deliberate. The sad reality is that I can't always be there to solve yr problems for you. Sooner or later yr going to have to figure things out on yr own and skipping Octoba Feeva (Day 29) was my way of reminding you that self-sufficiency is the most important costume of all.


With that lesson learned, today's Halloween suggestion/demand is one of special interest to me and so by association it is also important to you: Cryptids. Do you know much about cryptozoology? If you said "No", that's unfortunate. If you said "Yes, of course I do DUH" then congratulations because not only do I love you forever, I ALSO have a few wonderful ideas for Halloween. Pay attention "No" people...you might learn something.

Aaaaaaanybody could go as Bigfoot. So if yr lazy and boring, do it. It's better than a venus flytrap costume or a sexy ethnic stereotype. (By the way: please don't go as an ethnic stereotype. I will find you. I have the resources. And when I do? Yr going right into the sun.) If yr NOT lazy and boring, I have a few other suggestions that better represent the diversity of cryptozoological life:

1. Nandi Bear - Okay, so this thing might actually be a type of hyena or something BUT lets not get too wrapped up in the details. Be a big scary bear-like creature with a bad attitude and if you want extra credit ride a unicycle with an umbrella and a tutu.
2. El Chupacabra - What a terrible little demon this thing is. You could bring a real-life dead goat around town for double the authenticity.
3. The Aliens from Independence Day - I know what yr thinking: "Richie, I love and respect you and would like to deep-mouth french kiss you but those things are not cryptids." To which I respond: "Yr the one who's not a cryptid and there goes yr one big chance to deep-mouth kiss me."
4. Dover Demon - Massachusetts is obviously the best state, but it doesn't have the best mystery creatures. Except for the Dover Demon. This is THE BEST Halloween suggestion/demand if yr a teen from Massachusetts looking to "represent".
5. Mothman - If yr this I will be very scared of you.