It's October 3rd already? I'm sure you'll all be happy to know that I've been so busy thinking up wonderful halloween costume demands for all of you that I haven't even had a chance to figure out what I'm going to be. It'll be alright, I know I'll think up something brilliant.
As for all of you, today's suggestion comes from a close enemy of mine from the Mushroom Kingdom by the name of WhoreBitch Toadette. (I added the WhoreBitch part).
In a hatemail letter to me she remarked:
"You need to stop mailing bob-ombs to my house. I am running out of patience and fingers and if this continues I won't be able to host the Nancy Grace show on Sunday night. I'm scared to leave the house. It's been weeks since I rigged Mario Party and only lost by 2 stars. Please leave me alone, I'm begging you."
When I stopped laughing I realized that the greatest of ideas can come from the least likely sources. Having said that, I understand that we live in a country where we're fortunate enough to have the freedom to choose, from a list provided by me, what we want to be for Halloween. So in the spirit of America, here are a few suggestions all inspired by that cheating twerp's letter:
1. Toadette's Missing Fingers. Cute, but dirty and full of sin. Just like Halloween itself!
2. Nancy Grace. LOVE HER.
3. A Mail Bob-Omb addressed to Toadette. Bonus points if you actually blow yourself up at her house.
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