Toadette Found in Everett

Listen up people I've got some BREAKING NEWS: Toadette has been rescued!

Here's what happened. Matthew and I were on the porch smoking cigarettes. As we started back into my apartment I thought I heard a thumping noise followed by the muffled sound of "Help!" coming from the apartment below mine. The neighbors had moved out a few weeks ago and to the best of my knowledge nobody new had taken their place yet. Matthew and I cautiously entered the apartment, following the noise we had heard.

We followed the sound to a closet and what did we find inside...

Toadette Discovered

That's right, WE FOUND TOADETTE!

She was being held in a small cage-like thing, guarded by a Boo. Matthew was reunited with his friend but the story wasn't yet over...

Reunited at Last

When the culprit returned to the apartment, they must have seen the FBI outside because they fled. Later that day, while working with a search party to comb over the Everett area in search of the villain, Matthew and I entered Woodlawn cemetery on a hunch. That was were we found PuffPuff who, as it turns out, was NOT at a New England Tractor Trailer Training School orientation. That little bimbette was hiding out. Toadette positively identified her as the one who'd kidnapped her. She was promptly arrested and is being held at whatever lady-jail criminals from Everett wind up at (Cambridge maybe?)

CASE CLOSED!

see ya there

Fancy Beast

So wait, yr pets AREN'T in a band? Really? None of them? Oh, that's just awful. I wouldn't know what that's like, though, because in case you haven't heard my kitty is the lead singer of the greatest rock and roll band of all time: FANCY BEAST.

I can't remember if I've ever gone into detail about my cat Mileena's origins. Even if I have it's worth repeating. Basically what happened was there was this angel sent from Heaven to harass gay people or protest abortions or whatever God feels like smiting that week. Unfortunately this angel got slashed across the face with a knife by me and my All-Girl Goon Squad some nameless heretics and from the blood did Mileena rise. Sensing her star potential I immediately adopted her and welcomed her into my home.

Like any troubled teen from a single-parent household, Mileena started a band with a few of her friends. Charlene the Ferret on drums, Mr.Genderswap the Goldfish on bass, Mileena on vocals, and Mileena's good-for-nothing best friend PuffPuff the Cat on guitar.

It's not easy to describe their style of music but if I had to I guess I'd call it riot grrrwl. It won't be long before they're playing all the big venues so I suggest seeing them now. They'll be playing at T.T. the Bear's this Thursday.

ALSO: Tomorrow is Mileena's birthday!