SGF Slag Couture

I have an unrelenting desire to be photographed wearing rediculous clothing. What started out as a sort of jokey plan to dress like a monster and get glamorshots done at the mall has evolved into yet another manifestation of my secular gay fascist agenda. Usually my SGFA (and by the way I just noticed that the acronym for secular gay fascist agenga can easily be anagrammed into FAGS, which is a great subtle way for me to further manipulate you into accepting my depraved lifestyle) focuses on more practical things like sexing men and supporting gay marriage, but I am about to unleash a weapon of mass destruction that will end this culture war once and for all. I call this weapon Slag Couture.

For the record, I have no talent. Zero. In anything. Least of all in the world of clothing design. I DO NOT see this as a problem. I think it gives me perspective. Beat Happening weren't talented musicians and they have billions of fans all over the world. Even in Africa...no, wait...ESPECIALLY in Africa.

The concept of Slag Couture is kind of a superhero drug addict thing. A good mix of tight and colorful, but with a splash of dead inside. And this is where the SGFA trickery comes in, because call it what it is, if Galactus is attempting to drain the life-essence of Earth to "trip out" or whatever the kids are calling it these days, who better to combat him than a team of super heroes who have a deep understanding of the need to abuse substances? And the stupid little world isn't going to care if they're drug addicts or gay fascists or potted plants as long as their horrible lives are saved. The Secular Gay Fascists will be guaranteed heroes and then we can demand all sorts of things from the goverment or whoever else. If being scared of boring terrorists can result in the Patriot Act, I think saving the planet from an intergalactic world-devouring demigod can EASILY overturn DOMA.

Of course the battle with Galactus isn't happening tomorrow. Who knows...it might never happen, but I think it'll be easier to convince the masses that it's a very real threat if there's a group of costumed vigilantes fighting crime and warning them that "yeah, one day he's gonna come out of the sky and threaten yr family." BUT in order to trick people into trusting us and kick-starting this whole plan, the first step is costumes costumes COSTUMES!

And what better inspiration for drug addict superhero costumes than haut couture? But here's the thing, people aren't going to identify with us if we look expensive. That's where the Slag comes in. If we have that kinda DIY homemade look to us, we'll go from stuck up Parisian art junkies to eccentric Bostonian heroin junkies in an instant.

I'm still relatively early in costume development, so expect frequent updates. I need to make sure that the costumes are completed BEFORE I start in on phase II (Operation: Drug Addiction).