Angry Text

I'm so goddamn full of good ideas it makes me angry, which is exactly why my latest good idea needs to be forced into existence as soon as possible.

Okay, here it is:

I don't pretend to be a technologist or computa wizard or whatever but from what I've been told cell phones and internets have really gotten popular in recent years. This is in no small part due to the year 2000 happening (as we all know that was the point at which the present officially became the future) and now that we're about a decade into things I'm guessing that cellular telephones and internets are probably here to stay and it's about time that somebody (me) figured out that these items can be used to make money.

Among the many marvels of the present-tense future we live in is text messaging (called "texting") which many people use to send written messages to each other. My great idea of the day is start a business where for $4.99 a text people get to send us angry messages which we then forward to the appropriate party.

Here's an example torn from the pages of real life: Just say yr watching Sesame Street and you notice that Big Bird is being a complete dickhead asshole to Prairie Dawn for no reason and you watch the ENTIRE EPISODE waiting for it to be confronted and it's not. What kind of message is that sending to kids? If my service existed, you could send yr outrage in text form to us and we'd forward it to PBS who would realize they were fucking idiots for showing an episode that promotes bullying and of course they'd pull it from the air immediately, thereby preventing a potential repeat of Columbine perpetrated by the victims of individuals who learned that bullying was okay from watching Big Bird. Doomsday Averted. Ta-da! And all thanks to me and my wonderful idea.

It should be noted that we can't get involved in personal matters because sending an angry text to, for example, yr loser exboyfriend, would still be a violation of a restraining order and we don't have time to deal with all that legal blahblahblah.