Is window shopping still a thing? Was it ever really a thing? There are some questions that just don't have answers. As we all know, I like to consider myself an authority on all matters. From the heavy hitters like "Is there a God?" (Yes, and she's a dick) to the more trivial "Does this match?" (Everything matches, bimbo) I'm well-regarded in most social and political circles as the guy with sassy answers to some of life's biggest mysteries. To quote the late, great, biblical scholar Layla Miller..."I know stuff." It's both a blessing and a curse. Some of what I know comes from my precognitive abilities. Some of it comes from my uncanny detective mastery. Some of it is my innate gift to just know.
Being a one-man moral minority comes with a lot of stress but I do my best to get by. With great power comes great responsibility, as you would know if you had any power at all. I try to use my gifts for good whenever possible, but lately I've found that some questions just don't have answers. Why does corn smell so good? Where does Bigfoot sleep? Why is the sky blue? Okay, that last one has an answer but here's a follow up that doesn't: Who cares?
Now listen, I know yr faith in me must be shaken. I get it. However, I am still more than capable of answering 97% of questions with 12% accuracy. That's something.
Being a one-man moral minority comes with a lot of stress but I do my best to get by. With great power comes great responsibility, as you would know if you had any power at all. I try to use my gifts for good whenever possible, but lately I've found that some questions just don't have answers. Why does corn smell so good? Where does Bigfoot sleep? Why is the sky blue? Okay, that last one has an answer but here's a follow up that doesn't: Who cares?
Now listen, I know yr faith in me must be shaken. I get it. However, I am still more than capable of answering 97% of questions with 12% accuracy. That's something.
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