I'm Pregnant.

Mayyyyybe "pregnant" isn't the best way to describe it. I think "expecting" is a smidgen more appropriate because I'm EXPECTING a new synthetic baby to arrive in the mail at any moment. Her name is Sarah Whitney-Mulcahy and I artificially love her and her hyphenated last name so much that I'm angry about it. Oh look, here she is now:
I'm not sure how well you can read that little paragraph next to her, but yes she is modeled after the artist that made her. She is also premature so be careful around her if you have an imaginary disease.

Now that I've husked away my former worthless life and moved on to a higher plane of existence, I'm anticipating a lot of jealousy and gossip from all the baseline humans like yrselves, and of course I don't blame you, but please lets keep it reasonable people...I don't need DFCF (The Department of Fake Children and Families) all up in my damn business.