Superhero Burnout

I know, I know, I've been missing lately. It's not my fault. I was stuck in the fucking Negative Zone.

Do you know much about interdimensional travel? LET ME JUST SAY that it is time consuming, usually disorienting, and probably the fastest route to superhero burnout in existence (with the possible exception of a clone-related identity crisis).


So yr most likely thinking: "Billions of lives depend on me! How can I keep from burning out?" The thing about superhero burnout is that ya gotta take it as seriously as you would any other threat to justice. Burnout makes you sloppy, uncaring (in an apathy way, not a bad ass vigilante way), and if yr on a team, a major liability. BUT FEAR NOT because as usual I'm here to lend a helping hand so you'll be able to identify the warning signs of superhero burnout and make the changes necessary to ensure yr continued role as protector of whatever it is yr protecting or defender of whatever it is yr defending.

In order to understand superhero burnout, first ya gotta familiarize yrself with some of its most common causes. These may include, but are not limited to:

• having yr secret identity revealed
• finding out yr lover is in cahoots with yr arch-enemy
• being killed
• accidentally killing a civilian while locked in battle
• failing to save an innocent/innocents or worse yet a loved one
• sleep deprivation from late night crime fighting
• medical bills because we're not all tony fucking stark. I'm a goddamn social worker! I don't have savings.
• being kidnapped and replaced with an evil alternate dimension version of yrself/clone/demon/shape-shifter/alien or the rare demonically possessed alternate reality shape-shifting clone of a long dead species of alien. (It happens.)
• time travel to a depressing future
  

Alone any one of these would be cause to question yr lifestyle choices, but even more difficult is when some of these occur simultaneously. Once, I was kidnapped and replaced by a terrible doppelganger who stored me in a future where humans were hunted by hyper-evolved lions (in this future human fingernails and toenails were like ivory only EVEN MORE precious). Of course I managed to escape (duh) but AS SOON I got back I was turned into a horseman of Apocalypse and forced to battle my teammates. Again, of course, I was able to recover but do you have any idea how that affected my mental health? Had I not been so educated about burnout I may have ignored the signs and decided to serve Apocalypse by choice. That would have sucked for humanity because I was wiiicked deadly. FORTUNATELY I know the warning signs...and now you can know them too:

Signs you may be experiencing Superhero Burnout

• not returning from the dead.
• considering becoming evil or actually becoming evil (but not to infiltrate the enemy). It's okay to question yr motives every once in a while. A little self-doubt can keep you goal focused (and reassure you that yr not under anyone's telepathic control) HOWEVER if you get too caught up in that "am i really making a difference?" bullshit yr not going to be of any use to anybody.
• switching superhero names often (Ant Man, Giant Man, Goliath, Yellowjacket, Wasp, etc.)Frequently switching costumes is cool, though. Fashion is kinetic.
• isolating yrself from yr team or sidekick (is there a politically correct term for sidekick? "partner" doesn't feel right and "apprentice" doesn't give the position enough credit.)
• Becoming reckless. When you can lift mountains with yr mind, it's easy to forget that most people are just flesh and bone. Usually protecting the innocent is at least among the top five reasons people become heroes. If it gets to the point where you don't really care who gets hurt then yr no better than the villains yr battling against.

If yr experiencing any of the symptoms listed above you may be experiencing superhero burnout. It's okay, though, because you are not alone and there ARE ways you can battle burnout, including:

• taking a vacation
• brief "retirement" (you'll be back)
• a chance encounter with some nobody (most likely a child or pregnant woman or even a former drug addict) you saved and/or inspired a few years ago
• temporary victory over someone waaay more powerful than you (Galactus, Apocalypse, etc.)
• an inspiring speech by some member of the team you thought had died but it turns out they didn't (or they did and were somehow resurrected)
• A promotion (to team leader, sorcerer supreme, etc.)
• get a new sidekick. the old one should be dead by now (they'll be back and most likely angry at you for moving on at first but eventually they'll realize you had to in order to save more lives )
• get married to a teammate

I hope you all find this at least somewhat helpful. I wish I was able to take my own damn advice because instead of a vacation I'm headed to Limbo to try and win back Illyana's bloodstone. Fuuuuck.